That was me roaring from frustration slash internal conflict.
I just miss everything. And everyone. I really miss James Warren. I miss his witty humor, I miss his originality, his way of staying above the current. I miss how he made me feel different, important, beautiful. How I wanted to be greater because of him. I miss him so much. He was brilliant and bizarre and original and great. He was full of intense, self-sacrificing love. He taught me a lot of things which I seem to forget too often.
Thinking of him reminds me of the kind of person I once vowed to be. Someone patient, full of love, self-sacrificing, appreciative, disciplined, without judgement. Well versed in music and literature. Someone inventive and open. And overall someone with a wide perspective.
Perhaps this is a combination of both listening to sigur ros and talking to a friend, but while writing I am starting to feel more calm. I have been working on myself recently and I feel like I have been blessed with a great internship, a great new ward, a more friendly personality, and the feeling of progression. Focusing on myself spiritually has brought some pretty sweet benefits.
I still miss the influence that James had in my life. And I think it is the greatest shame that he still isn't here to inspire people, love people, and make people laugh.
But I am also glad for the love of my friends who are still here. Even new friends who have already shown me a supporting hand. Life is still hard and confusing, but I guess thats what faith is for.
