Rahh!

That was me roaring from frustration slash internal conflict. 

I just miss everything.  And everyone.  I really miss James Warren.  I miss his witty humor, I miss his originality, his way of staying above the current.  I miss how he made me feel different, important, beautiful.  How I wanted to be greater because of him.  I miss him so much.  He was brilliant and bizarre and original and great.  He was full of intense, self-sacrificing love.  He taught me a lot of things which I seem to forget too often. 

Thinking of him reminds me of the kind of person I once vowed to be.  Someone patient, full of love, self-sacrificing, appreciative, disciplined, without judgement.  Well versed in music and literature.  Someone inventive and open.  And overall someone with a wide perspective.

Perhaps this is a combination of both listening to sigur ros and talking to a friend, but while writing I am starting to feel more calm.  I have been working on myself recently and I feel like I have been blessed with a great internship, a great new ward, a more friendly personality, and the feeling of progression.  Focusing on myself spiritually has brought some pretty sweet benefits. 

I still miss the influence that James had in my life.  And I think it is the greatest shame that he still isn't here to inspire people, love people, and make people laugh. 

But I am also glad for the love of my friends who are still here.  Even new friends who have already shown me a supporting hand.  Life is still hard and confusing, but I guess thats what faith is for.